Sunday, 27 November 2011

a little romance... on thanksgiving...


image- vicki archer

Thanksgiving is not a holiday that I celebrate... unless I am invited to indulge in these wonderful festivities with American friends... but it is a time that has meaning for me. A coincidence of dates means that I equate Thanksgiving with romance... I know the purpose of this holiday is to be thankful and count blessings and that is where the romance comes in... Thanksgiving always falls around my wedding anniversary and when you have been married for many decades ( to the same person) and managed to stay happy there is an enormous amount to be thankful for... and... a lot of time to contemplate romance...

This year is not a 'big' one for us but nevertheless it's a long time to be together... How can romance survive after so long?... I suppose the principal ingredient to a fine romance is to choose well... I did, gratefully and I reflect on this often. Choosing is the tough part and for most of us we find our partners when we are young and not sure of ourselves... I met mine at 20... what did I know of my future?... Very little... my hopes and dreams were mere wisps and not well thought out or planned. It would be much more sensible to marry in maturity, when we know ourselves, but for most of us we can't wait that long... So choosing is everything and understanding character and compatibility means the make or break of a marriage... and this means luck.... A romance is dependent on a fair measure of good luck... so much must align for a good romance... First you have to meet... to be in the right place at the right time... and  there has to be that level of attraction that sparks the butterflies and thoughts of a romance... Then follows the dating... presuming  those feelings are acted upon...  How many romances must have ended before they started?...  Nothing more than secret thoughts that stay secret... desires that don't find their voice... After dating there needs to be commitment for a romance to morph from the short term into the long term... and perhaps this is the most perilous step, the point where many romances fail... the boundaries of the romance change...and a future becomes the focus... With all these most simple reasons in the world not to connect, a romance that does endure is nothing short of a miracle...

Romance is about the small gestures in the everyday... not just the expected fanfare on a special date... Romance is remembering not to take for granted what is there so easily for the taking... Appreciating each other's strengths and accepting that perfection is impossible... Romance needs imagination... and an endless supply for a long romance... Romance is about being unpredictable... the element of surprise should never be underestimated... Romance means being bothered... taking the time and making the effort and...  Romance.... romance is looking at the world through someone else's eyes... Romance is not just about our own happiness and expectations...

This weekend for our anniversary we are going to Paris... it's our tradition most years... I don't know where we are staying or where we are celebrating... but that's the exciting part... To be somewhere familiar, with my special love and an element of surprise... for me, that's romance...

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend with much love, laughter... and romance... xv


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50 comments:

  1. Enjoy your Romantic anniversary in Paris Vicki
    Im sure it will be heavenly
    Fay xx

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  2. Happy Anniversary, Paris how romantic,and the red roses for love,aaaaah x

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  3. Have a lovely (romantic) time and congratulations.

    I bet those roses smell as beautiful as they look.
    xxx DJ

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  4. Happy Anniversary Vicki (to both of you) and have a most romantic weekend. Much love XO

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  5. I loved this!!!! Happy anniversary, Vicki.
    xxxx

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  6. Have an absolutely wonderful time in Paris. We were there this time last year. Relish every second, and I look forward to postings! Phil xxxxx

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  7. Have a wonderful weekend! Happy Anniversary! A long romance must be the greatest gift in life.

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  8. Happy Anniversary Vicki! Enjoy this glorious time of year!

    Love and Hugs
    Karena

    Art by Karena

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  9. Wishing you and your husband a Most Happy Anniversary, spent in the Capital of Romance!!

    Betty

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  10. Love your post, gave me goosebumps. A very Happy Anniversary to you both and a great weekend of surprises in Paris.

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  11. What a perfect way to celebrate the two of you and your lifelong commitment to each other.
    Happy Anniversary and Cheers to all the years!

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  12. Dearest Vicky, you could not have explained it better! Wonderful!
    May the romance never leave the two of you!
    And added to all these after many years together is that incredible feeling of having raised and managed a family well, happy healthy children. That is an achievement! It adds to the romance and the closeness.
    Happy anniversary!

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  13. Je vous souhaite une très joyeuse Thanksgiving... Avec de gros bisous.

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  14. Congratulations Vicki on your Anniversary! I'm sure your husband would say " It's been easy to stay in love with you."

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  15. Have a great time in Paris, Vicki! Happy Anniversary!
    Teresa
    xoxo

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  16. Wishing you and your husband a most wonderful romantic weekend. On this day of thanks I just want to add that I appreciate your carefully crafted and always expressive way with words. You always manage to say perfectly what I imagine so many of us are thinking but don't always articulate so perfectly!!

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  17. Congratulations! A long-lasting marriage, especially one defined so lovingly, is a remarkable accomplishment. Worth every bit of the commitment and accommodations required. Best wishes, Happy Thanksgiving.

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  18. What a beautiful post! When I first fell in love with my husband a decade ago, I would not have described romance as you have here. Of course, I saw romance more as the fanfare, the butterfly feelings and very little of the commitment needed to keep it going. Looking back, I get a giggle out of what I thought love and romance were, so far removed from reality were my expectations!

    You have described true romance so accurately and so beautifully. Done right, the reality can be so much more rewarding than early presuppositions, and I always admire someone who has managed this feat. Congratulations and Happy Anniversary to you and your Love!

    Keri

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  19. Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Anniversary! What a beautiful photograph to celebrate with :)
    Jennelise

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  20. A very elegant and lovely post Vicki, it's always a pleasure to read you.
    I hope you have a very romantic weekend
    Sharon
    xx

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  21. Happy Anniversary! Enjoy Paris. Loved reading your post. It was my Anniversary on Wednesday, I have been married 20 years. Mimi xx

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  22. Happy Anniversary Vicki have a wonderful weekend in Paris.xxTrish

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  23. Beautiful post VICKIE!Everything you said about ROMANCE is so true...........Love the idea of you two in PARIS in NOVEMBER!CONGRATULATIONS, on all your years!!!!!!!!!!I'm right behind you I think ..going on 26.......Fondly,Elizabeth

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  24. How wonderful.......and Happy Anniversary!

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  25. Beautifully expressed thoughts. I wish you a wonderful weekend. In news a lot less romantic I will be turning 40 this weekend surrounded by a group of friends at Brunswick Heads on the Northern NSW Coast. However I will be with my husband of 14 years married, 18 years together so will keep your words in mind.

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  26. Vicki, Happy Anniversary, enjoy every moment of your time in Paris.

    It is lovely to read of a couple who still share ' big love '

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  27. Felicitations Chere Vicky!!

    Oh, these roses are so gorgeous. What a beautiful post. You have touched upon, very wisely, all of the most important components of keeping the romance alive, I believe. Indeed, much to be thankful for.
    Have a fabulous time in romantic Pareee!!
    xoxo,
    - Irina

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  28. What a wonderful time to have an anniversary!! Thanksgiving!!! What better time to give thanks than at Thanksgiving? Love this post and congratulate you on your anniversary after so many years! We've been married 28 years and so agree that one must choose well...whether young or old! I was 19! What a blessed woman I am today for choosing well! I've been trying to convey this to my youngest son who is leaving for college this next year...it's all about choices...everyday!!! Big or little...it's all about choices!!! thanks for the encouraging post! There's is no better time to give thanks than when it's an anniversary for a marriage that has stood the test of time!
    Carolyn

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  29. Vicki, I started to read your wonderful post yesterday and immediately thought "slow down, take the time to read this as it deserves to be read" and so put it aside for this morning. I agree with Stacey, that you have such a talent for putting into words what we all think but don't say--it is as if you pull the thoughts out of the air. I also appreciate that you take time in your thought process--something for me to think about.

    I met Remi when I was 32. We both knew right away, it was very romantic but oh my the hard work that was in front of us! Thank goodness we had our love to push us through it. Ten years have passed like the blink of an eye.

    Wishing you a very, very Happy Anniversary.
    -Heather.

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  30. Have a Happy Anniversary Vicki!

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  31. OH what a wonderful,spirited,encouraging piece of writing. Happy Anniversary! xxpeggybraswelldesign.com

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  32. What a lovely Thanksgiving post..
    Happy Anniversary,
    I'm sending it on to my two daughters, one of whom has been married 7 years the other just getting married next Oct.
    I believe they have both "chosen" well...
    Your thoughts are well timed.

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  33. My parents anniversary was around Thanksgiving and both had gorgeously trained voices. (My maternal grandfather was an opera singer who spoke 7 languages--the origins of my son's multi-lingual talents).

    Every year after the dining room table was beautifully set, guests were seated, and all was ready...we'd beg them to sing 'One Alone From Desert Song.' It was transforming, dazzling! So Thanksgiving definitely spells gratitude and romance for me. (Tho skip the turkey...I'm not a carnivore!)

    Love this Vicki...you three-dot girl, you!

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  34. Dear Mr.FF - thanks mate, this post your missus has written is about to cost me quite a few bucks. Millie read this out to me over brekkie this morning & then went on to give it to me about how lucky some wives are having husbands who do romantic things like take them to Paris for the weekend. She started to get ROOLLY upset, so to keep the Good Lady Wife happy I've had to bite the bullet & ask her out for a date tonight. So it looks like a table at The Stirling pub is on the cards. And to make matters worse, the footy season's over & I can't even pretend that I'm gazing lovingly into her eyes, when in actual fact I'm mananging to catch my beloved Demons on the pub's big screen just over the top of her left shoulder. Happy Anniversary to you both, & do us a favour will ya, cool it with the romance, paying for two dates in one year is more than a bloke can bear.
    MOTH

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  35. oh please......
    romance on thanks giving????

    some people have most of the luck.

    xx

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  36. aw very sweet, happy anniversary!

    x
    K

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  37. A love letter to romance. Happy anniversary, dear Vicki... wishing you many beautiful new memories.

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  38. Oh Vicki, that is the most loveliest of sentiments.....I will be married 30 years to the same person as well, and we met on Valentine's Day, so it is a double pleasure to celebrate these holidays. Merci ma chère for coming to visit yesterday to listen to L'OBJET QUI PARLE!

    YOU ARE GOING TO PARIS? GO TO THAT SHOP, JUST FOR ME!!!

    Bises, Anita

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  39. Sounds like a great way to spend Thanksgiving!!!!Maryanne xo

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  40. Enjoy your trip to Paris, la ville des amoureux!!

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  41. Vicki,
    What a wonderful post and as someone lucky enough to have been married to the same man for 39 years this coming February, I think you summed romance up perfectly.
    Have a lovely anniversary!
    Karen

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  42. Vicky, enjoyed reading this very much. Congrats to you and your husband on a successful marriage. These days its a big feat. I feel blessed as well and we are going on 26 years, like you, I got married at 21 and married very young, far too young to have the wisdom required in making very mature decisions:) So it was partly in choosing well and frankly partly luck/good fortune that we were in fact meant to be. This was such a beautiful and poignant tribute to your marriage and to what real love is all about, for those of us lucky to have it and cherish it, every day is worth celebrating. Enjoy Paris!

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  43. Happy anniversary!! I met my hubby when I was 14. Very young indeed. We're now married 4 years & were lucky enough to spend our honeymoon in Paris (& a few other places). Wishing you a most wonderful time.

    ~ Clare x

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  44. Awwww. A beautiful and romantic anniversary to you!

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  45. Gorgeous roses and a lovely post as always. I hope you enjoyed your stay in Paris.

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  46. Awww! So sweet! Happy Anniversary wishes to you both! How lovely to have the tradition of spending your anniversaries in Paris.
    My husband and I have been married for 25 years.
    I'm blessed to be married to a true romantic (thank goodness he's much more romantic than I am)
    I think one of the big secrets of long term marriage is being able to laugh together-even when things aren't that funny!
    A very sage friend of mine says the real secret to staying married is simply not getting divorced!!

    Have a lovely, romantic time in Paris. Your roses are gorgeous.
    xx
    SP

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  47. Happy Paris with your man!!!!!
    I went to 20 and he wanted out, but I must say that what I got the second time around, was a thousand times better than the first, and I never would have guessed that when I was in the marriage with my first husband, it sound like you got it the first time.........


    xoxo
    m

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  48. keeping the spark alive is always a challenge but goodness, a romantic trip to paris is just what every couple needs! happy anniversary! cheers

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