Valentines Day... One side of me revels in the thought of the romance and celebrating with the one I love on the 14th and the other side of me doesn't feel that one day alone is the way to tackle a romance. Love is a tricky game and Valentines Day sets the inexperienced punter up for a big fall... Why?... Because we girls have high expectations and ingrained notions when it comes to our lovers. How many years have you waited for Valentines Day hoping that your Mr Right will come through the door with that multitudinous bunch of roses, reciting delicate poetry and making you weak at the knees? I have and let me be truthful... it hasn't happened! That is not to say that my darling is unromantic or lacking in thought... He is legendary when it comes to spoiling me and making me feel treasured and wanted... He is a seriously sensational man... but just not on February 14th... He would tell you that to shower me with romantic gestures on Valentines Day would be too predictable and not deserving of our relationship... Is this a rat cunning excuse? Maybe, but I don't think so... in many ways I agree with him. Fostering a successful partnership takes many thoughtful gestures, a million kindnesses a great deal of forgiveness and an endless supply of romantic moments... one day is not enough to prove, 'I love you'. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with a day devoted to love... Any day that marks romance is a day worth savouring...
What I have been thinking is this... If Valentines Day is to be something special then let's take it into our own hands... Why shouldn't I shock mine with flowers, with poetry, with love notes, with gifts and with attention... I don't have to wait for him to take the lead... I can make the first move... He mightn't shower me with red roses next Tuesday but there is nothing stopping me...
I have been trying to think of the perfect Valentines present, along with the box of roses, for my darling... and what I have decided to do is load his Kindle with ten of the most romantic French writings. About the Kindle.... I never ever thought I would admit to loving a Kindle (so does he) but I do... It will never replace a book but for travellers it is the best invention ever... Easy to read and light as anything... If you don't have one... you must... I don't know why I resisted so long... The deal I make with myself is to buy the hard copy of the book that I enjoyed... this way, I feel less guilty...
For your Valentine
A Kindle if he doesn't have one... spoil yourself too...
For French Romance... my top must reads...
For the Love of Paris... you will love this one...
and don't forget the roses... most important... and so easy to send them from here...
Dazzle them with romance... everyone needs spoiling...xv
my daily click HERE
Well my husband is the same as yours - doesn't need a day to be loving and surprise me ... just yesterday he bought me the most beautiful glass paperweight with a picture of the Eiffel Tower on it in lieu of our silver wedding anniversary trip to Paris and Provence in April. However he has been known to be a little underwhelming in the past on the 'special' occasions.
ReplyDeleteDon't think he will forget Valentine's though - it's my birthday the following day .. so we make a habit of treating each other as a couple and buy rose bushes for our garden so we have more than one bouquet ...
I just bought him a Kindle for Christmas and put A Year in Provence and How to speak French on it hoping he will spend some time studying on our long flight from Australia!
Mmmmm I would love a Kindle too .....
Vicki, genius! I too am going to revel in giving to my Mr. Wonderful this Valentine's Day. I am inspired. Thank you, thank you!!! ~Jen
ReplyDeleteP.S. Love the reading list for me too!
Oh Vicki, I echo your thoughts. And I adored reading 'The Lover' - I must re-read it after discovering it the other day during The Great Unpack. Thanks for the reminder! J x
ReplyDeleteSounds perfect.
ReplyDeleteYou know when I was young we all used to be quite excited about St Valentines day. It was a day when you would hold your breath in anticipation of receiving a card or note from an anonymous person. We would spend days afterwards wondering who sent the beautiful card with a red heart. A secret admirer,but who? That is if you were lucky enough to receive one.Sometimes it would be someone playing a joke, like your workmates(that happened to me once)
These days it's quite different.
Happy Valentines I hope you receive a surprise from your love x jeanetteann
You go girl! Power to the women!!! I am taking the lead on Tuesday (with my post - a Valentine to my love) Thanks for sharing these great thoughts.... have a lovely weekend.
ReplyDeleteThe Lover is the most delicious book. Duras is quite the engaging narrator in that tale.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I've always found that I would cherish attentiveness in other ways and on other days. Isn't romance really about that - someone seeing and hearing and recognizing the little gestures we need?
And yet, j'avoue que... the gentleman I am seeing stunned me last evening with two dozen red roses, the most delightful card, and something he wrote just for me - and he is not a writer. I was moved, naturally, beyond any words of my own.
Forget the Kindle, and even the flowers. Words from someone who wants to be there for you? An extraordinary gift.
While traveling, my husband and I both became addicted to reading on our Ipads. Never thought it would happen. I too, by the book in a hard copy afterwards, if I've really loved it. We don't really do Valentine's Day. We both have an aversion to it. However, a truly great gift idea for people who do celebrate it.
ReplyDeleteaaaah, LOVE!! Such a special little word................hope next Tuesday is just full of it for you. I know your dearest will be thrilled with his gift. No fresh flowers here though, we leave for Hawaii on Wednesday, but chocolates would be nice, just so I can have one a day for good health and well being, ha! ha!
ReplyDeleteHappy weekend Vicki - hope it's a bit warmer in Provence by now.
Hugs - Mary
I am going to buy a Kindle. I have an iPad but it is too heavy to read on for any length of time.
ReplyDeleteHappy weekend, Vicki. Another beautiful post.
Teresa
xoxo
I too have mixed feelings about Valentine's Day.
ReplyDeleteLike your book list. Would ad Stendhal's Le Rouge et le Noir (The Red and the Black), love this book since my early teen years.
For The Love of Paris - Great story ;) Yes, I agree. We don't need a Hallmark holiday (that's what husband calls it) to show our love for each other. There are several jewelry companies that promote gift giving in the form of diamonds to show your affection. I always have to laugh - if I received a diamond or ruby every year for VD, I'd look ridiculous! My hubby usually walks in with flowers and a card. This year I've bought him a sweet magnolia plant and a funny card. My daughter is 20 and doesn't have a boyfriend at the moment. This year will be tough for her. I'm putting together a things (candle and a few candies) for her. She is hearing about all this romantic stuff and I think she feels left out. What's a mother to do?
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your day ~ leslie
My hubby is the same way.. I don't expect an entire day of romance but just a little something to say he that he is thinking of me..
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend!
Best,
Christina
greige
What a lovely gesture!
ReplyDeleteI usually get flowers and a card but I know my husband loves me as he does so many sweet and thoughtful things throughout the year. I do like to be pampered and spoiled...so why shouldn't he?
Good point Vicki I am going to surprise my husband this year!
I adored this!Grand suggestion for Valentines Day + Great reading list. xxpeggybraswelldesign.com
ReplyDeleteThank you for solving my conflicted Kindle feelings. Thanks for a non-predictable chat about another over-wrought holiday- which tends to bring more pain and profit than joy - someone should do a study, and your ideas to give rather than get is lovelier than ever...and do we really need any more things? Well yes, Kind loving gestures.
ReplyDeleteVicki--Valentine's Day is just another absurd marketing scheme to separate men from their $. I am a thoroughly romantic man, but the campaigns on TV and in newspapers and magazines begin the minute New Year's is over. "Every kiss begins with Kay," is practically a mantra, it is so often repeated on TV in the U.S. I once sent a lovely lady a box of 100 roses that caught my eye in an ad. "What a statement," I thought, credit card clutched in hand. The box arrived and she purred with delight--that is before she cleaned 100 roses of their thorns and bottom leaves, and found enough vases in her house to put all those long-stemmed beauties in, many of which were dead the next day. So much for the big gesture.
ReplyDeleteWorse, I think the whole day sets up expectations that run way too high. And when those expectations are not met, well...who's fault was it in the first place. Love and romance should be celebrated throughout the year without a "holiday" to force the issue, and isn't that what an anniversary should do?
Being single and well into middle age, I find myself in sympathy with my single women friends on Valentine's Day. So I'll be spending my afternoon setting up Jacquie Lawson cards so they won't feel left out.
I do like your idea of reversing roles, however, expectations could become a two-way street. Thanks for the recommendation of the historical novel about Paris. I will put it on my Kindle today.
We invested in the Samsung version of a Kindles at christmas seeing them going cheap at Carrefour for a bargain 45€. What a revelation and how easy to buy cheap english books without paying the crazy mark-up in french shops (if indeed we can find any worth buying in France as they only seem to stock Harry Potter in Rouen) - Plus being a french laoded samsung - Emma Bovary, and Dangerous Liaisons plus many more are already downloaded on it - in french of course. Vive le Ebook!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post as usual Vicki....yes, I'm following your lead....lots of attention, kindness and gentleness will be what I'll be giving this Valentine.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have NEVER celebrated Valentines Day. Valentines Day was for unrequited love and ours is requited !!
ReplyDeleteAs you say Vicki....love should be celebrated everyday with a simple 'I love you'.
I love your book choices and have read most of them .... I have been watching repeat after repeat of the film of 'The Count of Monte Cristo' over the past couple of weeks .... it's one of my favourites. XXXX
I agree, but it is nice to go that extra mile occasionally. Sometimes and only sometimes actions speak louder than words! x
ReplyDeleteGreat reading list! Thanks for sharing. :) And you are right! Power to we women, who are wise in the ways of love and romance. But i do think most men are well -intentioned. I think some just think that Valentine's Day lacks spontaneity. I agree. Romantic gestures all year are important. So is not taking one another for granted. But to have a special day set aside for hearts, love and flowers is fabulous too.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the reading list. I am going to use it myself and send it to my son, whose boyfriend is French. Regarding Valentine's Day: who said it traditionally is a day where men are supposed to take the lead? Maybe I'm just a product of the late 60's/early 70's, but I never knew that that was the tradition.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post this was! I agree with all that you said.
ReplyDeleteP.S.-Love love, love that vignette with the LV trunk (your Daily Click)!
I agree, when there's love involved, why does it have to be one day that a sweet boyfriend or husband have to go to extreme and forced lengths to prove it. My hubby of 38 years, yes, I was a child bride :-), buys me candy and that's perfect. He's so thoughtful and sweet all of the time that I prefer to celebrate our love daily.
ReplyDeleteKaren
I think women should appreciate any gift they receive. It means that you matter to him. Some of us are still searching for a "significant other." Be grateful for whatever with which you are bestoyed.
ReplyDeleteDear Vicki
ReplyDeleteI once had a friend who taught English as a Second language (ESL). Every year she bought a card (unsigned), well in advance, and asked an ESL student who was going overseas/home to post it for her. So every Valentine's Day her husband would receive a card from a different country. He was completely mystified about who it was who was sending the cards and greatly looked forward to them each year. One year, from Beijing, another from Hanoi, other times from places like Athens or Malta. He used to watch for them days before. She really loved doing this for him.
Vicki I love your thoughts, why shouldn't the woman in the relationship shower her man with special surprises?
ReplyDeleteWhat really matters is how we treat each other all year long!
xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena
Hi Vicki,
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to read through some of there with my cup of tea. I love your thoughts always.. thank you for keeping my mind open.
XO Noel
Quite romantic indeed!
ReplyDeleteI wish you a lovely St. Valentines day!!! :)
ReplyDeleteKisses
I believe many men feel like your husband Vicki and that love and respect is something which happens daily. I would prefer to receive flowers on other days when there is a better selection and fresher flowers at normal prices.
ReplyDeleteStill I will buy a card for my husband and we will celebrate with friends at a Valentine's dinner.
Helen xx
What a beautiful and romantic idea, Vicki! How fun to think of all the women inspired by your post surprising the men in their lives!
ReplyDeleteI'm usually playing my harp on Valentine's Day for other people being romantic, I love seeing all the flowers and chocolates and dreamy gazes at each other...even if I don't get a Valentine myself!
Hi Vicki, You are so right!! One day in 365 means relatively little---it is taking advantage of all the other days and ways available to express love and gratitude and joy to all of those that we love. As for me--I'm making lemon bars and brownies for everyone. Thank you so much for reminding me.
ReplyDeleteWhat a marvelous thoughtful gift - that is my kind of romantic gesture!!
ReplyDeleteRead The Count and Three Museketeers years ago. Started Madame de Pompadour, but other books got in the way. Looking forward to finding the time to finish it! Great selection by the way.
ReplyDeletemarvellous site !
ReplyDeleteIhave to say that i completely agree with your partner in regards to valentines day and ask my husband not to send me roses or "surprise" me with any grand gestures on this day because it is all too predictable. I love your idea of filling up his kindle it is such a sweet and thoughtful thing to do.
ReplyDelete