Saturday, 13 June 2009

confidence... (part 3 of bien dans sa peau)


'Tight-Rope Walker' by Jean Louis Forain

If the French woman, bien dans sa peau, with her self-confidence and her stylish looks is our woman to be admired, then how can we learn from her? How is this confidence she so freely exudes attained? Why is it that confidence make us appear happier, more beautiful and more fulfilled as women?

I believe lives can change with confidence; I have both seen and experienced this. If I am feeling sure about myself then all becomes right in my world. Confidence is that quality that makes us walk tall, that gives us the courage to go the extra mile and to change the small things in our lives that can lead to the bigger breakthroughs. Confidence allows us to concentrate not only on our appearance but also on our intellectual and our emotional well-being. Confident is; to be hopeful, sanguine, certain, satisfied, assertive, self-possessed, at ease, self-reliant, poised, together or unperturbed - all these adjectives I have heard or read many times to describe French women.

Confidence is a sneaky little fellow - he can creep up on us when we least expect it and he can desert us in our hour of need without as much as an au revoir or a plus tard. I try and remember that confidence is in my control, not beyond my control; confidence is my friend and my ally. This makes the presumption that we can always find the self-confidence within and at times, however hard we try, this does not happen. Confidence is something we have to work on, like our bodies, to become strong and supple. Confidence is not achieved over night and this quest is a life long process. 

How do we build this self-confidence? In the ideal world we would have a blissful childhood followed by a flawless adolescence. Self-confidence would be a compulsory immunization administered at regular intervals by parents and life would be rosy for all players. A girl would be bien dans sa peau  from an early age and she would transition through her years with an ample supply of self-confidence. Sadly this is not so and will never be - life is not perfect. To be self-confident we have to love ourselves and be kind to ourselves; destructive self-criticism is out. I think French women understand this, they rejoice in being women. They appreciate what they have, not what they don't have. We must be optimistic and focus on the positive in our lives not the negative. Negative thoughts are the enemy and should be dealt with quietly, efficiently and with a deathly blow. Confidence is about taking small steps every day and not allowing anyone or anything to undermine them. When our self-confidence takes a battering - and it does and often - it is these small steps, learned over time, that enable us to pick ourselves up. Confidence is about building emotional strength.

As women we have the greatest resource to build self-confidence at our disposal - each other. We must be caring of each other, encourage each other, share with each other and not be threatened or jealous of each other. These things we are too quick to forget and they are not easy accomplishments. A confident woman can compliment another with generosity and affection; a women lacking in self-confidence will be afraid or too timid to speak her mind for fear that she may fall prey to criticism. Complimenting each other is the easiest and quickest way to build confidence but how often do we do it? For whatever reason we forget; we are too pre-occupied or we don't want to be so forward, appear too eager or look unsophisticated. There is nothing better than the feeling when someone says that you have done your job well, that your children are a credit to you, that your writing struck a chord or that you look lovely; the most simple compliment of all. It is euphoric and we blossom with the rush that comes from praise, yet in our cynical world we are sometimes so reluctant to offer the very thing that we crave the most. Compliments are infectious - the more we receive, the more we feel able to give. 

I recently read a post entitled Positive Gossip at Kimberley's blog, Mimi Charmante, and I have been thinking about the power of the compliment ever since. The compliment is a mighty tool and one that we all hold in our hands - as women we must use it willingly and witness our confidence flourish. This just may be the French woman's secret, xv.

click here to read part 1 and part 2 of bien dans sa peau 
image - google

105 comments:

  1. Oh my ...I could not love this post anymore!!! I work in the beauty industry & I find it amazing some of the women I deal with have such low opinions of themselves...they are almost afraid to ask me for help,by the time they leave my counter I make sure they are feeling good not only about what they have bought but about themselves too!! Great post my friend, all the best,Chrissy

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  2. Dear Vicki -
    You have no idea how much this post changed my day. I was in one of those curl-up-in-a-ball, pull the covers over your head moods and you have snapped me out of it. I'm not very good at expressing myself, so I'll just say, 'Thanks'.
    Catherine xx

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  3. What a perfect post! I love your thoughts on this. You are so right - when I feel confident it all works, when I don't (which is a lot) it all falls apart. We do need to help build each other up, not tear each other down. Thanks for saying it so perfectly!

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  4. As the mother to three girls, there are many important lessons and reminders in this post!

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  5. Passionately followed these series ~ all very beautifully articulated!

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  6. Dear Vicki ..... for many years I have made it a practice to give at least one heartfelt compliment every day! Many days it's more .... I feel better, the recipient feels wonderful and my little piece of the world is improved. I especially love giving the totally unexpected compliment ... i.e. looking at another shopper in our grocery store, noticing something special about that person and letting that person know! To watch eyes light up, smiles spread across faces, bounce appear in steps ~ it's just so much fun!!!!

    This is another post I want my granddaughter to read .... she will love the French words you so deliciously slip into the text.

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  7. Well first Vicki I must compliment you - not only on this post but all of them !
    You are so right about the feeling one gets when receiving one, particularly from another female, which I agree women don't do often enough.
    You also struck a chord regarding the building of self-confidence in childhood.
    If this goes horribly wrong, it is so much more difficult to achieve later in life.
    I think it's a given that bloggers are confident (it takes self-assurance to start one and even more to keep going !)
    As far as French women are concerned I can't really offer an informed opinion. But I'm happy to take your word for it.
    Thanks for such an interesting post, and apologies for the long comment!

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  8. Dear Vicky,

    Some weeks ago I discovered your blog and I felt in love with it. I love the way you write and the themes you speak about. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful world with us :)

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  9. "....remember that confidence is in my control, not beyond my control; confidence is my friend and my ally...." VERY WELL SAID!
    Fabulous post, great site. I'll be back again soon!

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  10. Dear Vicki~
    I could not agree with this post more. I believe we all have a choice everyday. I see so many walking in a gloom because they choose not to see the brighter side. It has become so clear to me. Confidence is so positive and gives us such strength. Loving who we are allows us to give to others, shine and love others too. I could go on and on but I will stop here. I want to add just one thing... I do know, whether you are French or American it is who you are on the inside. Our souls & spirits are not separated by country. French women though seem to be much more in tune with this concept, I agree.
    xx's
    Janet

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  11. Vicki, you're absolutely right about reminding oneself that confidence should be under one's control. Reading this was like having a good pep talk that will invigorate me for the week! I suppose the French might be less self critical which possibly gave rise to the idea of jolie-laide in the first place. Merci for this!

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  12. i think confidence is the most attractive attribute a women can have...it makes imperfections invisible in its glow!

    now this is a worthy self practice!

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  13. Oh you are so right. Confidence and compliments go hand in hand. Some days I feel confident and others no so confident. I suppose if we felt confident all the time we wouldn't appreciate it when it arrives. Anyway here's a compliment for you - you rock :)

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  14. This post is fantastic! I think you are brilliant on this topic. Your statement that confidence is taking small steps and not allowing anyone or anything to undermine them is so true! I've never heard it defined that way but it's absolutely correct. I know exactly how to apply this in my daily life and I'm so grateful you wrote these words because it all makes sense now. I think you've found a topic for a new book!

    -Stephanie

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  15. I love the French Womans secret.. As always I love your thoughts and enjoy being in your mind when you deliver such a great perspective on things~

    xox Noel

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  16. This is so well said.

    To compliment one another...I agree, is so important, to our fellow woman...why wouldnt we?
    Wonderful post I am on my way to read part 1 and 2.

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  17. Vicki,
    Your words couldn't be truer - and this post is a message all women should take to heart. There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who is confident and loves what she has and never thinks twice about what she doesn't! Now that I am a proud mama of a little girl, I hope to teach her this valuable lesson of life at an early age. I guess the best way to teach her is by example. :)

    Now...are you going to write another book because I think you have something going with this series!
    Bisous,
    Melissa

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  18. This is a beautiful post. with three of my four being girls, I can so appreciate and agree with all that you wrote. Really good words, V. Thanks. xox g.

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  19. Just found you. I think I'm in love!

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  20. You, my friend, are an inspiration to women everywhere! Honestly, empowering women with a sense of self-confidence is, in my opinion, life changing. How many times have we failed to take a leap to something fabulous for lack of confidence. I have so enjoyed reading this "series" as your advice adds so much to my "toolbox" that I rely on to help me grow and become the woman I aspire to be~
    Merci!
    xo

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  21. Dear Vicki,
    You have such a powerful way with words and I am deeply moved by what you have written. There have been times when all I needed to take me to the next level was self-confidence. And too often self-doubt crept in and left me paralyzed. This post was a gift and will stay with me a long time. Thank you.

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  22. Dear Vicki,
    I couldn't agree with you more although sometimes I wonder if French women are just good at acting like they are confident even when they are not? In any case, blogging did wonders for my self-confidence what about you? Being an accomplished author must be a hands-down confidence builder!

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  23. Are french women more confident? Or just really happy to be living in France-lol! Women can be their own worst enemies, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, I say confidence comes from being kind to yourself and others first. Be kind to yourself by only surrounding yourself with people who truly care about you, get rid of the rest. We all know those confidence-zappers and they know you. Confidence is a positive energy, it can't happen when negativity is present. And if you have a talent or passion.....follow it. There....I feel better now! You get to talk in this tone when you are 55 like I am. Great post Vicki!

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  24. Etre positive, regarder autour de soi, la vie est courte, profitez-en.

    Be positive, look around you, life is short, enjoy it. merci vicki !

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  25. I totally agree with your words...If you feel confidence people will see you in a different way...for sure!!!
    I think I've to learn to be more and more confidence!

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  26. I have printed out this marvellous post to read when my confidence levels are low.

    I too believe in the power of complimenting others - I think that if a women looks great wearing a particular colour or has a great pair of shoes on or has done something terrific then why not tell her so. My mother always encouraged me to practice ARK (acts of random kindness).

    Thanks for the great post Vicki. Love it! Lee :)

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  27. fabulous! exactly what I try to give my "Cupcakes" at The Cupcakes Club~ and hope that the joy of being a girl and applauding others becomes a part of who they are. We need to support each other at every age- bravo vicki, bravo!

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  28. Dear Vicki,
    Did you get my post this morning? I left you a long comment. I saw it posted now it is gone??? Did you see it?
    xox's
    Janet

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  29. Love this whole series! An honest compliment is such a true boost to one's confidence. With confidence comes success as you believe in yourself. Great post!!

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  30. You have expressed this so well. Love the reminder to keep up the compliments and how you have related them to self-confidence.
    Thanks
    Clare x

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  31. So so true!!!


    Bien dans sa peau is definitely a phrase I try to live by..... and I definitely did not have the perfect childhood.


    I feel like too, that people BUILD confidence through suffering and hardships. Once Sam left to go to Iraq, I felt this deep power within me that I never knew existed before. I became more confident, because after you lose the chance to be with your loved one everyday... what else do you have to lose???


    appreciating what's around you is the first step to rebuilding and gaining that confidence.


    you are a wonderful wonderful writer!! and i so love this blog!

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  32. It is so very true that we often need to give what we feel we need the most! Thank you for sharing this beautiful, thoughtful post!
    Kirsten

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  33. Wonderful post and one that I will send to my daughters. I think it is a gift to be confident and compliment others sincerely - without letting ego come into play. You can be confident without being egotistical......but it takes some thought.
    Great thoughts yet again. Thank you.

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  34. So eloquent. This post was just what I needed to hear. I'm off to read it again.

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  35. vicki, this is such a wonderful post, may I compliment you on writing it so beautifully....your words ring so true and yet sadly we often withhold complimenting each other for many reasons, some of which you discuss here....I think it becomes habitual to withhold positivity if we are not raised with it and yet, that is not an excuse as as adults, there is nothing so important as helping each other create a more loving world...

    thank you for your words...
    xo

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  36. I'm with ya on the whole confidence thing. It really is the ticket to everywhere. Nice post - hear hear!

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  37. One of my favourite clients is a lovely woman, well over 80, and she is the most cheerful and confident person. She told me once that every morning before she gets out of bed, she prays that she will make everyone she comes in contact with throughout that day feel better just by their encounter with her. She always finds something positive to say about everyone she meets. And I always leave her house feeling ten feet tall.... and quite confident myself.

    You are so right...we need to boost one another by acknowledging all the wonderful qualities in our friends!

    Wonderful post!

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  38. Hi Vicki,
    Your post really struck a cord with me. IT'S SOOOO VERY TRUE!! We all want to that confident in our lives. It's starts with the small steps and I think (NO, I will) start today.
    Thanks, Lisa xo

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  39. Great post Vicki. It certainly is true - especially for me at this stage of my life. I have lost quite a bit of weight this year and am getting quite a few compliments and it does wonders for my confidence. I am no longer that quiet shy woman that could be walked all over. This new found confidence has given me the ability to do and say as I please.
    Alison

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  40. Bravo Vicki . These posts like a fiery sword of truth and inspiration. I always give compliments and I only give them when I feel it to be true and not insincere. I will stop people in the street to admire their clothing, child and so forth. I often feel shy and not confident but I have to pretend and act as if I am a confident person and sometimes it works!
    I agree with Di. You rock!

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  41. I also adore the image you selected for the text. A perfecto choice!

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  42. You're right Vicki.
    And, believe me, even if I am a man, i'd pay to have more self confidence. Being bien dans sa peau, means all that You wrote.

    Thanks.

    Massi

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  43. Thanks, Vicki.
    This post came at the perfect moment when I have lost confidence in myself, in my feelings and my own brains.

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  44. I love this post! Self-confidence is something I've been working on for so long and you define it so well. Thanks!

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  45. So many wonderful comments to an amazing post. Thank you so much for the three gifts of "Bien dans sa peau". I seems to be hearing the word love resonating from these three blogs. Love for oneself, others and all of life. True, it does help enormously to have a mother who fosters self-love and appreciation for life, but it can also be acquired through a commitment to love. For the past 2 years I have been reading The Tao and learning to achieve balance and centeredness (is there such a word) and applying what I have learned to the teachings of Christ. Over and over, I am drawn to lessons of love. Of course, watching someone and complimenting them is all based on love. As women, we are so fortunate to have love intensely imprinted in our DNA--our job is to focus on all of the different aspects and manifestations of love so as to bring light to those we encountered along the way. Vicki, you definitely shine light onto my path. Have a wonderful, loving and receiving week.

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  46. Great post Vicki, I have learned through the years in community work that confidence is key to engaging others, supporting empowerment and participation and compliments are linked to respect and equality. As you so eloquently describe they really are the essence of women. Thank you for the post, thought provoking and philosophical. A real pick me up on a busy Wednesday in work. hugs Margie.

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  47. ah confidence comes from happiness- but how can we be happy if we're not confident in ourselves. I think we can only strive to be happy with ourselves for ourselves alone.

    I love giving compliments and of course I love receiving them. It amazes me that there are still so many women out there who are constantly competing with their friends and not realising how precious they are.

    There is nothing so nice as taking time to compliment and appreciate someone. Complimenting is like gifting- it's the people who love to give as much as receive who you want to be around.

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  48. Vicki - I shared this amazing post with my 12 y.o. granddaughter yesterday. Her age is difficult because she looks older and is exquisitely beautiful. Sometimes I feel she is being robbed of her childhood because of her looks, people are pushing her into adulthood and she becomes confused about life and needs to have more confidence. Your words will certainly help her - I will print them out and keep them so she can always go back and re-read.

    Today I have already complimented my DH - a start! Later I'll throw out some more along my way, I do like doing that....it costs nothing and puts a smile on a face, always a good thing in these somewhat difficult days.

    Thank you - Mary.

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  49. Parisbreakfasts10 June 2009 at 14:27

    i was hunched over my 'puter reading this can came on the word "confidence" and instantly shot up straight :)
    Posture is the answer!!!

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  50. Beautifully expressed, Vicki. It's true the more we give to others, the better we feel about ourselves and the more that comes back to us. You exemplify this giving in the blog community - you always have something positive and uplifting to say to everyone.

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  51. Vicki - Thank you so much for your visit to Hill Country House. I am a first time visitor to your blog and just love it. You are a wonderful writer and your words on confidence are so true - thank you and I will be sharing this post with my daughters and adding you to my favorites list.

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  52. Enjoyed this very much - wonderful insights into confidence and the power of a compliment. Might this find its way into your second book?

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  53. I believe petty, insecure, stuck in junior-high mode women need to eliminated from the face of this good earth. This type of behavior, which many view as merely the truest of female biology, reduces our power to empower ourselves and each other. Compliments, like love and when I think about they are a little form of love, do make the giver as generous as the receiver. We must love ourselves first, with all of our quirks. And we must embrace our sisterhood. We all have wonderful gifts to share, and we need to look beyond the superficial and find the true beauty to appreciate.

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  54. Lovely post Vicki and how true. I think people have become self-destructive so that others would not take a whack at them. Meanness and being cruel is a mark of the modern times. We learn it in Seinfeld and laugh at it. Then we lose the boundaries and it becomes a habit. As you said, a kindly tongue is the lodestone of all hearts and a much needed ingredient in our self-development. My yoga class instructor always says to stand tall, chest out yet humble and walk fearlessly. I will remember this post.

    XO

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  55. Vicki- What a lovely post. A reminder we all need to hear; thank you! I wish "be kind to yourself today" was the first thing I thought each morning, but alas it is not...I have always tried to give out compliments- to women that I notice; like the teen-age checker at the grocery store with a pretty pair of earrings, or the older woman at a store who has beautiful eyes, but your post has made me realize I need to do it more often...
    j.

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  56. You, dear Vicki, are wonderful at boosting confidence in your blogging friends. You have certainly done it for me.

    The reason your kind words mean so much is because of how much I enjoy your writing, your books and your blog. I value your opinion! And, as a person lacking in "bien dans sa Peau" it is always something special when I can breath in a compliment instead of pushing it away.

    Lovely post!!!I am so hoping that these French women posts will find their way into a book.
    xo

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  57. Once again Vicki you have come up with a brilliant posting, but I have to say this is one of my favourites capturing the true power of women that many lose sight of or cannot quite grasp. You are such an immensely talented writer, thank you for the enjoyment and enrichment that you bring into all of our lives.
    Nathalie
    Dolce Dreams

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  58. Like Chrissy, I love when I can make a woman feel great about herself and she leaves being more confident

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  59. brilliant !
    i will be re-reading over and over.

    xx

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  60. what a wonderful concept immunized to be bien dans son peau! With adolescent daughters ,I find this a delicious thought. I sense from my French female friends that some are blessed with this confidence and others have good days and bad--- my hope is that they,my daughters can find their own inner thermometer to sense true confidence from just fluff or filler...the French culture, in our region, I find to be far more male dominated ,which can influence the reactions and freedoms of the French women...that is why I love Carla Bruni bec/ she defies their preconceived notions--

    -And yet, you are so right that as women we can be so supportive of one another, we possess RED TENT POWER, in which we can inspire our female friends to see their own inner beauty which then refects back to us, an appreciation of ourselves.

    well done !! et merci encore for your words of wisdoM!

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  61. What an amazing post Vicki. You write so eloquently and manage to articulate such beautiful truths. I'm sure you have navigated your daughters through their childhood magnificently and they are no doubt delightful and confident young women because of your example. Meredith xo.

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  62. I absolutely love this post, Vicki.
    It's so interesting that I should read this on my birthday. I do believe that every year I gain more confidence in myself. That is the beauty of being a woman of a certain age!
    The blogging community has definitely helped my confidence level this year. I have never been a part of a more supportive community!
    You are a perfect example of this, Vicki, and this post is a testament to your generous and loving spirit.

    xo
    Brooke

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  63. Love this post. I think there are so many things that build confidence. My mum put me in ballet classes at 5 yrs old. This helped me so very much with confidence. Performing on stage and receiving applause is truly amazing. I guess in a way it is a compliment too.

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  64. beautifully written!
    Every day I try to compliment at least one or two women at work a day. I make sure it is a sincere compliment and one I mean from my heart. I truly believe women need to lift each other up! and a sincere word or two is powerful.

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  65. Hi Vicki,
    You've done it again! Another thought provoking, inspiring post that makes me want to be a better person! Thank you for always giving me food for thought and always being so positive. I love visiting you!
    xoxo
    Judith~

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  66. Confidence.

    "If I am feeling sure about myself then all becomes right in my world."

    So.Very.True.

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  67. I couldn't agree more. The compliment is definitely a mighty tool and we all should use it more often.

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  68. HI Vick, Great post, if only we could all arrive fresh out of our teenage years feeling good about ourselves what a dream the rest of our life could be. Thanks.... Hugs Carla xxxx

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  69. I came back to read this one again! It really struck a chord with me. Thank you Vicki!

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  70. So well said and just what I needed to read. You're writing always strikes a chord. It is always better to focus on the positive but it sure can be a challenge but being aware and making the effort is a great start!

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  71. I plan to share your entry with my teenage female students since they are oftentimes in a very insecure spot--- and I can see by the amount of responses you received, your articulate thoughts definitely reached many people!

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  72. '...your writing struck a chord..."
    Smiles for you.
    adriana

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  73. Thank you for putting into words what I have often thought about: Confidence.
    As a young girl for many different reasons I never developed much of it and always felt not smart, pretty and able enough. It took two marriages and 4 children, a job I love and some distance to my family back in Europe to get to a point in life where I can say I am a confident woman. I do not want to think about what I could have been with lots of confidence...
    By now I am secure enough to say, well that's my life and I'll make every day the best out of it.
    My first concern are all of my children, that they are encuraged to be confident without a self centered attitude, giving but knowing how to take for themselfs, strong and aware of their wisdom, beauty and goodness.
    Love yourself and you know how to love others!
    Thank you, it struck a large cord within me!

    Victoria

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  74. We know when a we are "sharing space" with a confident woman, because she observes all the details, finds the best of the best, and bothers to announce it to the rest of the room. Generously dishing out worthy compliments with resounding affect for all involved, which then ripples through the air through out the day.

    She graciously owns every word she speaks, with out doubt, with out debate.

    That gracious woman is you.

    Be well.
    Do good.
    All ways.
    All days.

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  75. Thank you so much for posting this. You can not imagine how much this helps me. So once again..thank you!

    x
    Michelle

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  76. you are such a wonderful write and this message is encouraging and uplifting. thank you.

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  77. That - my friend was a SPECTACULAR POST. Read it out loud to hubby during our morning coffee...with his "here, here" punctuating each paragraph. You are an inspiration to all women Vicki. I have been on the receiving end of some pure nastiness during this house build (even as recent as yesterday - nasty comment on my blog), insecure local 'professionals' threatened by what I have been doing, in my own little world, minding my own business. I have always wondered why they haven't just encouraged me rather than try to subversively destroy me and my business behind the scenes. It has chipped at my self confidence but then hubby just says to me, "look around, look at what you have achieved and shut up!" Men ... it's all too simple for them... their confidence never really waivers! Thank you for a long overdue 'vaccination', Vicki. I'm all fired up now.... confidence is back! A-M xx

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  78. Thank you for another spot on post. I recently experienced the value of a compliment from another woman: I was trying on a pair of shoes, and the sales associate paid me a compliment--"You have lovely ankles." Silly, I know, but it was so generous of her, so unexpected. Of course I was concentrating on the thighs, on the flaws . . .

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  79. What a great post... Compliments are important and empowering and I would like to bestow a compliment on you for having such a fabulous blog! xo

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  80. merci Vicki pour ce beau texte de réflexion,mais penses tu vraiment que la femme française soit plus confiante que les autres européennes?
    Par contre de contenter de ce qu'on
    a c'est ma devise depuis longtemps .
    pour les compliments a autrui je pense que la blogsphère est un bon exemple....
    enfin on pourrait philosopher sur la question des nuits entières...
    amitiés

    manon

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  81. now that was a post i needed to read - thank you - i printed it and will keep it tucked in my pocket book.
    merci beaucoup

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  82. Vicki - so well said, and so inspiring. Sometimes I have difficulty balancing introspection (and hopefully learning from my mistakes), with focusing on the positive and trying to maintain self-confidence.
    –Lana

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  83. Vicki dear ... .

    I place another bravo at your feet!

    This is the single most important
    attribute we can share with our
    daughters... . .

    Jjjj

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  84. Because we all can not have happy childhood and flawless teenage time, confidence is something we should learn how to make it grow within.
    It will not come with another beauty treatment.
    I work on my confidence constantly to not let the little bastard go away again, becaus elife is too short.
    Thanks for this great post.
    Ewa

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  85. As women we have the greatest resource to build self-confidence at our disposal - each other.

    As if it were possible to love you more -- you just made my heart explode. A truer statement was never made. Thank you, Vicki. This post made me weep and was such validation to what I believe to my core. I'm going to print it out and read it when if and when I ever need a nudge back onto the right path.

    Much love to you and heartfelt thanks for all that you are and the gifts that you so eloquently share.
    xo Isa

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  86. Hi Vicki,
    This was a great post to read first thing this morning! We are all human and struggle at times, but we just have to do the best we can in our daily lives, hold our head high and carry one. By sharing and giving to others it helps to keep a broader focus and balance and I feel centered in myself. Cathy

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  87. Hello again Vicki,
    This is my third time on this post! Reading this post encouraged me to finally do something I've been thinking about for months. I opened an Etsy shop today. I wrote a post to announce my shop and to thank you and others who have helped me get past my self doubt. Thank you!

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  88. Vicki, your words are so beautifully woven together and are a generous gift to all of us.

    The power of words is often under appreciated or forgotten. There is an intrinsic beauty in a person that is self confident; and they are not fearful of what others think or threatened by anyone. The egotist is sometimes mistaken for a person of confidence; whereas, they actually have low self-esteem and attempt to boost their ego at the expense of others. They are typically self absorbed and out spoken in ways that are hurtful to others. We have seen the sad and horrific results of this in school bullying. How different so many lives could have been if words of hurt had been replaced by words of kindness.

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  89. I could not agree more Vicki, confidence is a pretty powerful thing! We could all use a bit more of it, as the world is an ongoing everchanging thing in itself, it is important to focus on what we can & can;t control. After realizing this, we can begin to concentrate on what falls into our immediate controlled life and daily thinking. Once you have mastered this train of thought the unexpected and uncontrollable issue become less of a worry and more of an inspiration to make a difference in what we can affect and try to make better. I think a confident person, espescially a woman is an exquisite creature!
    Have a GW.....
    Leslie

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  90. Absolutely Fabulous post!

    FM~FP~AF

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  91. Vicki,
    Your post is the most beautifully written, brilliant and thought provoking. And, you did it all with just words, no images. You truly are the QUEEN of blogging.
    Merci!

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  92. Absolutely! I think those compliments are the embodiment of grace. Extending graciousness is all but forgotton. Giving in this way always sharpens our self perception or the mirror we look in. and constantly ups our value and a human being. Thank you so much for posting this.
    Deborah

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  93. What A beautiful post as always, you write so beautifully and you are such an inspiration to all x

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  94. Vicki-
    You know I so enjoy your posts and this one was so inspirational for me. You are very insightful and such a great writer!
    x-Gina

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  95. I am amazed by all the comments and how I still hear bloggers mentioning this post! You touch many! Happy Weekend to you!
    Kirsten

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  96. I am really loving these post Vicki, thank you so much... Your writing is so clear and beautiful, and so easy to take in.
    Hugs to you!
    Jen
    (perhaps another book is in here somewhere, yes?)

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  97. Hi Vicki...wow what a post!!!
    To appreciate what we have and what we don't have...
    To be positive and not focus on the negative...
    This post certainly struck a chord with me...
    Many compliments to you Dear Vicki on this very thought provoking post...one to come back on and re-read to remind ourselves on the power of paying a compliment. You never know how this will affect the person for the rest of the day...perhaps bring a smile when there is stuff happening in their lives♥x

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  98. I think this is one of my favorites of your creative posts. I love that picture so very much! Always so inspiring! Thanks Vicki!!

    xoxo Noel

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  99. Hello Vicki: By now you have SO many comments on this, but I had to come over and add mine. Your post here has initiated others that I've been reading this week. Thank you so much. I've thoroughly enjoyed all your "bien dans sa peau" pieces--very thoughtful and gratifying. Thank you so much. Your writing is lovely.

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  100. Thank you for expressing this so beautifully and for all you share. Ax

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  101. Your posts continue to inspire me V, thank you so much for writing about confidence, it is without doubt our most powerful tool as women. I hope I can impart this to my darling girls as they grow. Hx

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  102. Your words are beautiful and true!

    Amen to this post!!

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Thank you for visiting French Essence... I love to read your comments and I hope you will be back often... xv